Oh Patton. I just… I am unsure as to where I should start here.
Good idea, Patton. So, back in April of 1971, a film about the U.S. General George S. Patton of World War II won seven Oscars. Best Picture, Best Director, Best Screenplay, Best Editing, Best Sound, Best Art Direction, and Best Actor. Fun Oscars Fact: George C. Scott (who confusingly enough played George S. Patton) is the first person in history to refuse an Oscar. He called the Oscars “a two-hour meat parade, a public display with contrived suspense for economic reasons.”
He’s not WRONG. Just dramatic as hell.
So apparently Patton is this ridiculously classic war epic covering the career of General Patton. Maybe I’d watch a Drunk History of this story… but not a 2 hour and 51 minute biopic of a controversial World War II veteran.
And not just because the film fails so spectacularly at passing the Bechdel Test (I’m serious, not a SINGLE woman has a line in this film, except for maybe one woman wearing a burka offering two chickens to General Patton out of respect). Now I know what you’re thinking, “It’s a movie about World War II, Saving Private Ryan doesn’t have female characters.” And to that I would say Saving Private Ryan has a surprise third-act Matt Damon, which could redeem anything in my eyes.
Here’s the only gif from the actual film I could find, which shows a pivotal scene in which Patton slaps a soldier for being too traumatized from the shelling to continue fighting. Patton gets in big trouble for berating the soldier by calling him a coward, and thankfully, his career goes downhill from there.
War movies and Westerns are not my thing, as I have stated countless times here, as I think they promote a type of masculinity that is incredibly harmful. But if you’re into war movies, you should give this one a try. It offers an extensive look at the politics behind World War II, plus Francis Ford Coppola was one of the screenwriters, so there’s that.
Also the first scene of Patton is iconic and allowed for this Looney Tunes bit.
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